Having gone through years of ignoring my childhood issues, when a life changing event happened back in 2016, all of what I was trying to stuff down, came to the surface and I became numb with a feeling of loss and sadness. I would lie in bed for days, staring at the wall relentlessly crying. I couldn’t stop crying and I was unable to go anywhere for fear of breaking down into tears. I think I had been depressed for years, but never really knew it until my world fell apart and I was forced to confront my demons.
One day, it got to a point where I had to choose life or death and I chose to live. I chose to take myself off to where there was sunshine and a feeling of freedom. Before I left, I created a series of paintings that came from within me. It was raw and ugly and painful to create. It was like my soul was talking to me through these images. These images became the catalyst that helped me observe myself and realise that I was witnessing my pain and honouring it by expressing it on paper in a visual form.
After a year of opting out of life and creating my Paint A Days, I knew that the therapy retreats I attended with realisations along the way, art had helped me heal and gave me the tools to handle hardship that came my way.
Now when I am faced with difficult moments in my life, I turn to the freedom of art. Creating. Making a mess on paper, taking that journey and knowing that it is okay to ‘F**k Up’ and its okay for things to not look perfect. It is okay to express yourself as it is impossible to embrace the whole feeling of happiness when you don’t fully welcome the feeling of sadness.
Teaching and creating art, for me, has developed into a discipline where you not only develop your identity, but you enhance your self esteem, confidence and personality. It is a place where you get to be with yourself and with the artwork, building a portfolio of yourself, in a way.
This all might sound rather deep, but I feel that when you really dare to tap, just a little bit into the real you and face the fear of failure using art as an experimentation foundation, you start to truly see what you are capable of and that ripples into other areas of your life.
Working on a mural in a tattoo studio.
If you would like take yourself on a creative journey and be prepared to make mistakes along the way, book a class below. I would love to join you on your creative journey and teach you everything that I know!
Emmylou xx